I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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