when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
