Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
