Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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