I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
