Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
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Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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