I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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