You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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