saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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