i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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