So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Will exercising make me less horny?
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