I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
