We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
