Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
