I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
