ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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