is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
