I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
