Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
