he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
