I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she looked like the before picture.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're like the curious george of whores
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He better not be in your backpack
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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