I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
