How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I understand Curling. That high.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
