dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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