im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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