awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
