I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
