so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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