Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i believe in u and ur pee
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
dude. I can hear the air.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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