She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
