It's like God shit irony all over that family
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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