he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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