I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
