Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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