i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
