Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I supernannyed him into submission
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