I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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