Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
