watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
