Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
