Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
