Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
