It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
