Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
