According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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