So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
