He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
