Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
