the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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