I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its liver damage thursday
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
