I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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