Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
