sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
