Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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