So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
