Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize