yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
