I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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