I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
either way he was missing a nipple.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
