So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
