it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
