Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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