So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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