I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
