Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
