are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
